A Look Inside: Scenes From a Marriage
This weekend concluded the new HBO miniseries Scenes From a Marriage (Hagai Levi) based on the 1973 Swedish TV miniseries written and directed by Ingmar Bergman with the same name. I was immediately drawn to the series because the leads were played by Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain both whom I knew would produce incredible performances and I wasn’t wrong. From the initial opening scene you were drawn into this modern marriage and you can immediately get a sense of the struggles lingering just beneath the surface. Over the course of 5 hour-long episodes, it explores the disintegration of the marriage between Mira (Chastain) and Jonathan (Isaac) and it progresses through a number of stages from matrimony, infidelity, divorce and subsequent partnerships. After watching the series I began to think, what makes this series and particularly movies like Blue Valentine (Derek Cianfrance, 2010), Marriage Story (Noah Baumbach, 2019) and Malcolm & Marie (Sam Levinson, 2021) so captivating? Although the complications and struggles of relationships we are shown on-screen aren’t always experienced by some couples, these movies and Scenes From a Marriage show the unfortunate reality of some relationships and the raw reality of how humans act in these types of situations.
When looking at both Mira and Jonathan we are set-up to not associate or not like Mira because she left her husband and child without a real warning. While I believe she is at times, quite manipulative I can relate to how she acts in her relationship with Jonathan. On the other side as I watched episode 4 I was really drawn to Jonathan and how he was reacting when Mira told him she was fired. In that conversation, Jonathan begins to explain how he was feeling and how his dependency on Mira paralyzed him. I could really see that he was trying to communicate with her but unfortunately she wasn’t in the right mindset yet, she hadn’t grown. As this argument unfolds, I am able to relate to both of them and I truly understand both sides of the argument.
As painful as it is to watch these fight scenes and those in Blue Valentine, Marriage Story and Malcom & Marie, I truly believe they capture the rawness we all experience when fighting with a significant other. There are obviously different levels and situations where these moments happen in real life but they happen at least once in your life with your partner. Scenes From a Marriage captures this rawness perfectly, not only because the incredible performances by Chastain and Isaac, but because the dialogue felt real. In a fight you sometimes says things you don’t mean, you say things in the wrong way or try and attack the other person with hurtful words. That is just the reality of an argument and while many of the fight scenes in this series or those movies seem extreme to some viewers, I think they capture the darker side of relationships not always shown on screen.
As we watched episode 5, we begin to watch them asses their relationship’s past, present and future as the reality of their complicated love story sets in. Jonathan has begun to let himself become the person he wanted, at least in part, and Mira has accepted that the choice she made while hurtful and wrong let her understand herself better. I know a lot of people didn’t like the way the series ended or how Jonathan became exactly like Mira in his new marriage but in my opinion the ending was justified. If you really listened to the conversation Mira and Jonathan had after he talked with his new wife, Jane and their son, Ethan – you’d understand that Jonathan recognizes the pain he had caused her (and vice versa) in a way he can only now avoid. He talks about how their marriage had been like a piece of tape and his current nuptials with Jane were like that same piece of tape re-applied. But it just didn’t stick the same way. It doesn’t make his choices to have one-night stands or an affair with his ex-wife right but it gives context as to his emotional state.
For me, it shows the endless amount of trauma he endured after the downfall of his marriage. Mira told Jonathan his analogy made her sad but, he said, it was not sad, just honest. He also said he would never love another woman the way he loved her, and that he knows his marriage with Jane will eventually end, but at least he had gotten that baby he wanted. Mira, in turn, said the divorce had taught her it was actually good to be alone sometimes. From my perspective, divorce suits them. There are marked signs of growth between them where there once was recurring issues in their relationship. Mira participated in shiva for Jonathan’s father despite her previous judgment of Jonathan’s faith, Jonathan is at ease with the kind of sexual expression Mira wanted. Both are unguarded in how their parents’ relationships have haunted them, accepting in the degrees to which they need to or can’t be alone. In the end, we see them together, maybe only temporary but they have grown and evolved individually but also in their relationship, whatever that might be defined as.
The reality of life is that some relationships flourish and some diminish with or without cause. Scenes From a Marriage shows us that relationships and the dynamics of a marriage can be incredibly fragile and the aftermath of something like an infidelity can result in an endless amount of trauma. A trauma that some people never truly overcome, a trauma that leaves us scarred or distant. We as humans need to understand that things like compatibility, passion or even love aren’t the only things that can sustain a relationship. The most important thing any of these movies and Scenes From a Marriage has shown me is that people need to communicate. Communication is the key in every relationship and while at times it might be difficult or uncomfortable – it is vital in order to avoid what we saw unravel in the 5 episodes of Scenes From a Marriage.
The Fade Out: A Movie Blog 